doomsday = world cup (excerpted from an e-mail)

much thanks to CH for sending me this message. it really opened up my eyes on how football – NOT 2012 – will usher in the end of days.

It has, likely, already occurred to you, hasn’t it, the one in a gazillion possibility that the end of WC 2010 will set off the end of the World.

It all starts, doesn’t it, when, against astronomical odds, the victor of Group B faces off against that of Group G; that’s right, and of course: Korea vs. Korea. The North furiously races to erect a televisual simulacrum of patriotic victory for the home side, appropriating South side national jerseys from half the sons of the ruling elite, and dentonating a 1 kg warhead to provide enough juice for the nation’s one thousand or so TVs. But when this brave attempt to save face fails — bootlegged copies of the tragic loss seep in through the Chinese border, not to mention the din roaring over the 54th parallel — the smoldering fires of Northern discontent erupt into the bonfires of insurrection.

The glorious son of the glorious leader, Kim Il-Jong, “The Great Teacher of Journalists”, desperate to hang on to his internet access, unlimited supply of Japanese satellite porn and sembei, and not going down without a fight, decides to launch a pre-emptive strike on Seoul.

The Americans respond in kind leveling Pyongyang, while the Chinese … but, of course, all this (and more: the alternate scenario in which against even more astronomical odds the North pulls victory out of the hat and when at Pyongyang GHQ a drunken commissar goes to push the button launching the mother of all fireworks displays, instead trips and hits the other button, the one right beside it marked ‘Seoul’…) yes, all this has likely already occurred to you.

funny as it is, i am also a little disappointed. i always thought i would be the one to destroy the world. oh well, “let’s just say / you are not the destroyer.”

and, oh yeah, CH also pointed to this guardian article by terry eagleton on crack, cocaine, radical politics, and the world cup.

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One response to “doomsday = world cup (excerpted from an e-mail)

  1. That message reads like an episode of South Park! LOL

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