Tag Archives: islam

Jokes ’bout Islam

I made these up because I was bored.

“What does an Islamic rapper say?”


“What do you call an Islamic basketball player?”


Rage Without Theory: Egypt Is Not An Event

The beauty of modern
Man is not in the persons but in the
Disastrous rhythm, the heavy and mobile masses, the dance of the
Dream-led masses down the dark mountain.

The enunciated desire for “democracy,” seen in the Egyptian protests, is surely a sign of the times. Although mobilized, the Egyptian people lack a unified interest, there is no common reason. Crying for “democracy,” is, by definition, the interests and reasons of the many.

Mubarak has resigned! The military will oversee Egypt through a “transition.” But a transition into what? Two possibilities are immanent on the horizon. The first is that the military refuses to give up the national authority bestowed upon it by the “international community.” The second, arguably more likely scenario, is that the party eventually “elected” will be a politico-theological aristocracy. A third, distant possibility: Egypt actually adopts the foreign discourse of liberal-democracy. However, all they know of “democracy” has either been distorted by their “democratically elected” former leader, or been stylized by Advertising Empires that promote democracy as “the best of all possible worlds.” But we know, however, it is not the best. It is merely the least worst.

For the Egyptian uprising to be an event, something like a communist language is necessary. Not necessarily capital “C” communism, but an abstract theoretical language that could easily name and then translate the Egyptian situation, its countable elements, and the proposed result of action (i.e. “utopia”). Communist revolutions were successful in the past by articulating a situation (the “class struggle”), naming its protagonists (the “proletariat”), naming its enemies (the “bourgeosie,” “kulaks,” “counter-revolutionaries,” etc.), and promising a “world to come.” This “world to come,” however, must always be recognized for what it is: a regime. And communist regimes have always been among the worst disasters (excepting, maybe, Cuba).

Here the problem is most clear: communist discourse, in its Marxian and Freudo-Marxian variations, is a dead language resource. Arab subjectivity does not appear to be compatible with or support communist forms of thought; though it is very easily adapted to fascism … Perhaps a left-leaning fascist populism is the best that can be hoped for.

It will be seen what direction Egypt heads toward. We all have front row seats in the theater that is all front rows: the screens of post-history flicker with images of Egypt’s uprising.

Why I Did It, A Terrorist Manifesto (part 8)

[This is a fiction I co-authored with Louise Norlie. I will be publishing the story in serial installments, every Monday for the next little while. Stay tuned.]

My parents left me everything and they were insured, so I got the maximum amount for “accidental death.” I still have not run out of money and could, theoretically, live comfortably even after all I have spent on ammunition, explosives, and weaponry.

One day I went to the library and pulled down a vast religious text. I propped it upright on the table and read for hours. Anyone walking by would notice that I was openly and proudly reading it. They probably thought I was studying it to understand the mindset of the 9/11 terrorists, but it was quite the opposite. I found myself drawn to the spirituality and philosophy of Islam. My foray into religion was prompted by an interest in the afterlife – not that I believed there was one. But to me religious terrorism was the ultimate rebellion and transgression; coming from my background, I was by no means expected to assume and embrace the aesthetic of a religious “terrorist.”

I started watching the news for information about so-called extremists, rallying against the excess and decadence of “the West.” I grew a beard and wore different clothes.

No one spoke to me now. A few Muslim students approached me one day with looks of earnest approval on their faces. They believed I was truly one of them. But I was not. I told them so in definite terms. They thought I was making a mockery of their faith. But I was not an actor. In fact, everything had become very real for me.

I dropped out of university soon after.

islamo-fascism, pros and cons

is there an alternative to global capitalism other than islamo-fascism? the obvious answer would seem to be: “yes. it is communism.” however, if we look across the spectrum of nations that supposedly have a communist political practice, each of those nations is sliding – or has already slid into a socialist version of its communistic ideals.

militant islam, on one hand, is a viable alternative to capitalism. the leaders of islamo-fascist terrorist groups know how to gather the “rage potential” of people and mobilize it against “the enemy.” the problem with islamo-fascism, as it is with fascism proper, is that its execution requires the naming of an “enemy” and the utopian fantasy of that enemy’s elimination. most commonly, this enemy is named “jew” or “jewish.”

in addition to the problem of “the enemy” and its perpetuation through ideological manipulation, islamo-fascism does not consider progress (in terms of women’s rights, civil rights, property rights, etc.) a positive value; in fact, fascists are often opposed to liberty of any kind, unless it is authorized by the “führer.” not only are they opposed to liberty, but to all forms of art that do not conform to a specified archetype (see c.g. jung’s theories and his involvement with the national socialist party).

the wrongness of the ideological manipulation happening in islamo-fascist states happens on the level of “mis-education” of the young: in many of these places, hitler is praised as a hero. i am not saying that hitler does not have a place in history, but teaching children that he is a hero, is like saying che guevara was an educated, peace-loving man who was forced into killing and was ultimately martyred for the cause of communism. absolutely absurd; if anything, che was little more than castro’s dog.

so, while i do not support any of islamo-fascism’s political projects (the political projects being: the elimination of israel and jews as a race, religious indoctrination as opposed to secular education, the subordination of women, etc.), i do endorse the spirit it embodies: the spirit of anti-capitalism in the form of revolutionary terror. however, it is doubtful that the islamo-fascists see themselves as “revolutionaries;” they are, to all appearances, counter-revolutionary par excellence. if only there were “islamo-bolshevism” or some other neo-logism which would combine the attitude of a militant islamist with the vision of the communist idea. we quote kazantzakis: “today, mohammed is called lenin.”

one day this may come to be. until the rise of “islamo-bolshevism,” we can still at least be entertained by the spectacle of terror and the war against it.

or perhaps, “both are worse,” and global capitalism is the real answer to the deadlock of the left versus the right. if this is so, it will certainly be the greatest challenge ever for capitalism to overcome: after the “tragedy and farce” of the past decade, what emerges as “new wave capitalism” will be something like “the bible of hell / which the world shall have whether it wills or no” (blake).